VHS grocery-store chaos still

Create a chaotic security-camera still from a 1990s grocery store. A man in full medieval armor is frozen mid-sprint stealing several rotisserie chickens past the dairy section. Overhead fluorescent lights reflect off the armor. The floor is baby-blue tile. Add a timestamp reading "08/13/96 04:44 AM" and a wall poster saying "NEW! TOASTER STRUDELS!". Make it low-fidelity, absurd, slightly intense, with motion blur, VHS color bleed, surveillance noise, and authentic analog-store lighting.